Controlling it is difficult. Everyone has it in them, and they have a choice whether to suppress it or succumb to it. It comes with its own special consequences, but if overcome, it rewards. A temper can take over a body, a mind, a heart, and can change a person in the worst way possible. I know this because I’ve grown up around this.

People need to be aware of the fact that someone could lose everything because of an uncontrollable temper. I have seen first hand of the effects of not being able to control inner rage.

Since I was young, I have seen someone I love fear her father – not in fear of him physically hurting her, but in fear of his yelling. The saying goes “their bark is worse than their bite,” and for this man, that holds true. She would be scared to ask if she could go to spend the night at a friend’s house because she expected more than a no. Eventually it grew to telling her friends she could not hang out all together. By this point, she expects yelling if she left a dish in the sink or did not pick up a glass in the living room on accident. He expects her to be a perfect teenager and when she has flaws, he overreacts and goes straight to blaming her. Her father is a great man with many amazing attributes, but his temper over rules all of these features.

This man has lost so much because he not only cannot control his temper, but he does not realize he has one. Through all of his life, he has been rude to customer service, his co-workers, and especially to those he loves. He ruined his marriage after 25 years. Soon after that, his son was fed up with how this man treated him so he decided to not see him anymore. He has lost a good relationship with his sister because she stands up to him. He has even lost his job because he treated people so poorly. He does not know why any of this happened, but I know. I know that this is because he cannot control this curse inside of him.

This girl fears waking up in the morning while at his house because she can never guess what mood he will be in. Did I sleep too long? Is it a holiday and he expected me to help him with breakfast? Did I not finish the dishes last night? If he happens to be in a good mood, it isn’t there for long. Something will set him off, which will basically set the course for the next days of being there. After a divorce, the loss of a son and the loss of a job, she doesn’t expect him to change. She cannot give him the benefit of the doubt after he has disappointed her so many times. She expects disappointment.

People are always impacted by a temper somehow, if they have it themselves or deal with it in someone they love. I have a goal. I have a goal that once I look for a spouse, I will find someone who can control himself and treat me and my children with the love and respect we deserve. I have learned that controlling one’s temper is a skill worth perfecting.

A temper is a powerful thing; it can over rule any good qualities you have. I know I have it, but as long as I do not succumb to this curse, I will be happier, I will be healthier, I will be lovelier, and I will be something more.